Oops, I did it again. Like a stealth bomber, I zeroed in on his hand undetected. Specifically, his left hand. And there it was …
On the fourth finger, indented into his skin from years of wear, was “the band”. The band that said, nope, this one’s not for you. Carry on.
I quickly shift my gaze in the opposite direction. My heart sinks momentarily as the flicker of hope vanishes. Hopelessness glides into its place.
I have been waiting for “Mr. Christian Right” for quite some time. In fact, these waiting room walls are closing in on me and I’m beginning to think he is never going to walk through the door. Or worse, he doesn’t exist. Or worse-worse, there’s something wrong with me!
Why is this taking so long? It seems everyone has someone, except me. And when exactly, did I become a left-hand ring-stalker?
When I found myself in the waiting room far longer than I expected, fear and doubt took up residence in my heart. Even though I had already learned God doesn’t want me to live my life in fear, I could easily slip back into that place from time to time. Sometimes I even dwelled there.
Wallowing in the waiting room one day, an old saying came to mind – “Blossom where you’re planted.”
We may not be able to control the situation that put us in the “waiting room”, but we can control our response to it.
Perhaps this is the time we’re supposed to be deeply focused on our children or finish that degree. Maybe that [fill in the blank] we’ve been putting off is calling our name.
Or perhaps, we’re not ready to receive what we are waiting on.
Maybe we’re in the waiting room to allow us time to do the hard work of letting go or holding on.
Or maybe we need to unpack some luggage from the past that is competing with the present.
We must be intentional in the wait or our time in the waiting room will be wasted. Time we will never, ever get back.
When we acknowledge we are in this place, at this time, for a specific purpose, we can be free to wait without worry.
If we allow it, the waiting room can serve a useful purpose. The choice is ours. We can choose to wallow in doubt and self-pity; even become envious of friends who’ve been rescued from the waiting room. Or, we can be joyfully productive and growing in our purpose.
I started a singles small group in my home and took on a new role at work. Both were challenging, but the payoff always trumps the challenge. My house is full now with people who love me without exception. And my career has stretched me in ways I never thought possible.
Let’s choose to blossom where we’re planted. Joyfully. Not the easy choice; the better choice.
We might not see the purpose, but we can still be purposeful.
However, we can press on. We can help others, and we can help ourselves. We can wait knowing God will work all this out for our good and His glory.
Yes, the desire to find “Mr. Christian Right” is still there. And I keep an eye out for him in the background of my heart – a girl’s gotta be ready, right? But I’m okay with the wait. My heart is satisfied in this journey through singleness.
Ponder
What are you waiting on? Are you tired of being in the waiting room? Won’t you take a moment and share your story? There is so much we can learn as we share space in the waiting room. Let us know what you’re doing in the waiting room. FREEBIE: I am giving away a free copy of the book, What to do Until Love Finds You. I will select one winner, by random draw, from everyone who leaves a comment about their struggles and/or victories in the waiting room.
Practice
A Truth: “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
A Song: The Waiting by Jamie Grace (Click to listen)
A Read: What to do Until Love Finds You by Michelle McKinney Hammond
A Prayer: Father, I don’t understand your ways. You are all knowing, but I am not. Help me turn the hopelessness into helpfulness. Take my waiting and turn it into something purposeful. Keep my heart full of Your wonder and grace so that my waiting is not a worry or a burden. But rather, let my waiting be fruitful to others and to myself. Amen.
Here’s where I’m sharing my post.
Thank you for this timely encouragement… we walk by faith, not by sight… without faith(trusting Him) it is impossible to please Him… I really needed reminding of this right now… It’s been over 10 years since my ex-husband left us, but I know it is still not His time for me; my 5 kids are still working through serious issues due to the poor relationship with their Dad, and it takes it’s toll on me. What keeps me going is hope, and my relationship with Him, and encouragement from other believers. I trust in His unfailing love. One day it will all have been worth it.
God bless you x
Amanda thank you so much for sharing your current struggles and the hope you have in this trial. What faith! I’m encouraged and hope you are, too. Others, including your kids, will certainly see that. Blessings to you on this journey.
Being single at 32 is not what I had planned for my life. I am using this time to engage with my dreams while I have the time, energy and space. One day, my priorities will change and be about my husband and I (if God wills). For now, I am focusing on growing in my faith and living my dreams. One day at a time.
I hear you! I’m not where I thought I would be either, but I am where He wants me to be. Chase your dreams. It’s likely He put them on your heart. And that’s the best way to live your best single life! Thanks for stopping by.
Great blog Pam, I enjoy your writing, you often say exactly what I’m thinking. I’m still waiting for the indentation to leave my left ring finger after 5 years of being divorced. I keep telling myself it may never leave because it’s a sign of faithfulness of my marriage to Christ. It’s a nice reminder of things to come. We are his bride.
I know what you mean. Sometimes we have to mourn the loss of what could have been before we can embrace the possibility of what He has planned to come. It’s a journey!
I think most of us are either waiting for something or have had to wait long for something. Our family is just beginning to come out of a long wait over a relationship issue that has been hard and discouraging at times. But God is faithful and He grows us all in the wait. I loved this statement, “We may not be able to control the situation that put us in the ‘waiting room’, but we can control our response to it.” Thanks for sharing.
Hi Donna. Glad to hear things are looking up after a long wait! A day is like a thousand years is conceptually hard to grasp at times. Let us all keep the faith in the wait.
Hello Pam. I love this post! God has given me the word patience for 2017 so I may be in the “waiting room” for awhile. However. like you said, I want to be purposeful while I am waiting. I am excited to see God work as I rest in Him trusting His leadership. Thank you for your openness and honesty that you share. Whether or not Mr Christian right walks into your life, God wants what is best for You so trust Him with all your heart my friend. Have an amazing week and may God continue to richly bless you and yours.
Thank you, Horace. Your words are always so encouraging. My word was PATIENCE in 2015. I wrote a post on what I learned (and am still learning!). It’s a good one – I’m sure you’ll do great with it. Take care, my friend!
Love this: “We must be intentional in the wait”. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we are waiting for that we forget to live in the here and now. Thank you for this reminder!
Yes! And especially when the wait starts to really drag on. Thanks so much for stopping by, Nicole.
Enjoyed reading this a second time! Especially since we spend so much of our life in the state of wating…great wisdom and encouragement:)
Pam,
I loved this message of hope so much! We are all faced with so many waiting rooms in life. We can fight it or we can choose to blossom where we are planted. Thank you so much for joining me at Moments of Hope. I am feeling so beyond blessed to have met you this week! Your writing and your heart is truly a gift! Thank you!!! I’m sharing this hope everywhere over the next few days!!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Your encouragement is pure sweetness to my soul and just what I needed to hear today, Lori. Love how He is using us both; two strangers connected through Him!
Thanks for your vulnerable heart and encouraging words to us all, whatever our season! Patience is not my strongest virtue (putting it mildly) so this is a beautiful post to ponder. Blossom where you’re planted… love it! Stopping by from Moments of Hope. Blessings to you 🙂
So glad you stopped by, Laura. Patience isn’t easy for me either. It was my One Word theme last year, so I’m getting better!
Such a good reminder…waiting isn’t easy, but the prayer reminds me that God can use our time of waiting to His purpose. Perhaps there are others that are watching and learning and growing their faith through our waiting.
So true, Sharon. The trials are meaningless if someone doesn’t benefit. So glad you stopped by!
Waiting is hard. I hope and pray that God will make His presence known to all who are waiting. He can fill the lonely spaces and draw us closer to Him during these seasons.
This is such valuable truth for Christians, whether we’re in a waiting room labled “singleness” or “adoption” or “illness” or a hundred other instances in which we must wait for God’s timing. How good He is to work while we’re waiting, and to be with us every step of the way! Thank you for sharing this with us at Grace & Truth.
Yes, Jennifer, I agree. There are so many lessons and spiritual growth opportunities in the waiting room! We just need to focus on those and not what we’re waiting on. Thanks for stopping by.
Oh Pam, this is such a beautiful message! I just love how you started a small group for singles in your home. God is using you to help others. I love how God uses our hurts to comfort others. I started a small group in my home when I was struggling with infertility and thought I would never be a mom. It was just for women in pain. We went through Sheila Walsh’s “Life is Tough but God is Faithful.’ The first woman who arrived was 9 months pregnant. Her husband left her for her best friend. God showed me that everyone’s pain is different but hurts the same. I had women going through a divorce, suffering with depression and a mother of my student who had cancer and sadly passed. I pray that God would bless you with the desires of your heart. I found that He really does care about those desires.
Isn’t it such a blessing to lead a small group? Your stories are incredible. God just sends us where we need to be! Thanks so much for stopping by.
I understand the waiting room in many different contexts. You lead us to remembering that by being intentional in the wait we are still honoring God. By blooming where we are planted instead of growing stagnant we are using the gifts God gave us. Thank you for your words! They spoke to me today and blessed me.
Pam, I love this analogy. I could see myself in so much of your story. I am not a patient waiter by any means, but over time I’ve seen how God used those periods of waiting for good. Thank you for your transparency and for this lovely reminder that God can use those seasons. “A satisfied heart is one that is at peace.” Yes, Amen!
Thank you, Abby. Patience is a struggle for me as well. It was my “one word” last year so I’m making progress!! Thanks so much for stopping by.
Waiting patiently are words that don’t go together easily in my life. I tend to try to make things happen on my own and, wouldn’t you know, they don’t work out! There is nothing better than being surprised by God at the right time 🙂
I love your word choice – Surprised. I tend to not like surprises which is why I’m like you at times, trying to make things happen on my own. So much more peace when we wait on His perfect timing. Thanks for stopping by, Sarah!
We’re all in different waiting rooms, but the feeling is all too familiar. Not fun by any means ~ However, you have reminded us, we cannot control the circumstances, but we can trust that God has ordained our steps and ultimately is working in our best interest. Thank you for the encouragement.
Thanks for stopping by, Damarise. So grateful our steps are ultimately worked out for our good!
How rich is this post! Open, honest, not lost in the weeds, but trusting in the One who made you and stewarding the waiting room time well and for His glory! Any guy worthy of your love is going to be amazing!
Visiting as your neighbor on the Intentional Tuesday Linkup
Blessings,
Pam
Another Pam! Woo Hoo!! Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I’m sure he will be special, but until then I’ll keep moving towards God. Thanks for stopping by.
Waiting can be so frustrating…if we let it be. But, like you suggested in your post, waiting can also be a time of growth! I have had many times of waiting in my life and as I look back over them, I can see God’s fingerprints all over! The times when I felt stagnant, God was still working, behind the scenes! I’m choosing joy, too. In fact, this year, I’m choosing to live life to the fullest. There will be no more frustrating waiting for something big to happen. I’m going to “bloom where I’m planted” right here, right now!
Blessings, Joan
P.S. Thanks for linking up at The Beauty in His Grip!
It’s too bad we can’t see what He’s up to while we wait! But that’s the “trust thing” that He grows while we’re in His waiting room. Thanks for the opportunity to linkup!
Thank you for sharing!
Mr. Right will come along in God’s perfect timing. Keep on blossoming. Love that instead of blooming.
Ah, yes, good distinction between the two that I hadn’t thought of! Thanks so much for stopping by, Debbie.
Good for you! I applaud your decision to live life and love God in your present circumstances without being derailed by dissatisfaction. Elisabeth Elliot used to say that the secret to living the Christian life is Christ in me — not me in a different set of circumstances!
I love that! Not always easy – but always better!
Love your attitude and heart as you wait for Mr Right!
Thank you, Lil. I just jumped over to your blog and see you are in Chicago! One of my most favorite cities. Thank you so much for stopping by and for your encouragement.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. It is so brave for you to open it up for us to see you inner thoughts. What a testimony you are. I am sure that you struggles are not easy but you are choosing to give the Glory and the wait to God. He is using you in this wait to be a light to others. Many blessings beautiful friend. Thank you for sharing with us at Sitting Among Friends. I look forward to you blessing us again this week. My waiting is right here. Waiting for what God is calling me to do and maybe this is it, so like you I am taking advantage of my waiting room.
You always have such kind and encouraging words, Jaime. Thank you! The “waiting room” can be good and necessary. I’m sure God will make the big reveal in His perfect timing.
I’ve been in the waiting room many times, and in several areas I’m still there. One thing God has taught me is that waiting on Him is active. While we wait, we must pray and trust.
Very good post. I’m your neighbor on Tuesday at Ten.
Great reminder!Thanks for stopping by!
I used to think waiting was wasting time, but God showed me the truth: He works in the wait, even — especially? — when we can’t see the plan. Such an encouraging reminder here today through your words. Thanks for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday. Merry Christmas to you!
Thank you, Kristin! I enjoy linking up with so many other great bloggers on #ThreeWordWednesday! Appreciate you stopping by. Have a wonderful Christmas!
Beautiful message. I love the prayer at the end. Merry Christmas!
Mary
Thank you for stopping by, Mary!
I’m next to you at Kristin’s (#7) It sounds as though you have chosen Joy for the Journey and that, I think, is secret #1!!!
Ha! Yes. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson to learn, to be joyful in all things. Merry Christmas and thanks so much for stopping by.
Needed this! Thank you! I love the waiting room picture… it’s so true.
Thank you, Erika! Waiting is part of the journey.
Wonderful and challenging thoughts on waiting. Thank you for your example. As I read your words, I’m reminded if I can remember God does has a good purpose then it makes the waiting more purposeful, as you said. May God continue to bless you 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Dolly. Blessings to you in your journey.
I love your analogy of the waiting room. This quote spoke to me. “Or perhaps, we’re not ready to receive what we are waiting on. Maybe we’re in the waiting room to allow us time to do the hard work of letting go or holding on. Maybe we need to unpack some luggage from the past that is competing with the present.” Thanks for sharing your heart! I am your neighbor at Purposeful faith!
Thanks so much for stopping by, Lisa! I think I was in the waiting room for a long time doing some of the “hard work”! Merry Christmas and blessings to you on your journey.
I definitely think God is going to bless your heart to wait on His best for you, Pam. Keep on trusting Him and encouraging the rest of us to do the same. Great thoughts, my friend!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I trust no one else!
I love the thought that we can blossom where we are planted. I am sure that waiting is sometimes like a preparation ground. The right person, the one we are waiting for, will come along at the right time 🙂
Oh yes! I think if I didn’t have the “blossom where you’re planted” mindset I would have made some lousy decisions in the waiting room. Grateful He keeps the hope alive.
This is beautiful and beautifully true. I was in one of those rooms for 13 years from 1980 to 1993. I was a divorced woman during those years making it not easy either. I had had a terrible first marriage that lasted 10 years so was quite afraid of remarrying the wrong guy. I also had much growing to do during those 13 years.
I was raised a Christian but did not come to Jesus up close and personal until 1993 when God introduced me to Mr. Special. He actually introduced me to Jesus…really introduced me. I have been growing in the Lord these past 22 years of wonderful marriage.
But waiting was hard and a few months before meeting K, I “told” God that I was not looking for a husband, but if He wanted me to be married again, He would have to bring him right across my path…and He did!! My to be husband had actually never been married and was 45 years old. He said he was rather double-minded, one day wanting to be married and then pulling that desire back. Finally one day, he decided he was seriously wanting to be married so wrote down the qualities he wanted in a wife. About 3 months later, he met me. I guess God figured we both were finally serious and ready. : )
Wow! What a wonderful and encouraging story, Linda. I am still waiting and just like you once felt, I have a fear of marrying again as well. So grateful you stopped by and shared your waiting room story. Blessings to you and your Mr. Right!
I am sure you will find your Mr. Christian Right.
From my own story, I was relentlessly pursued during my college days by a senior post graduate medical student ( from the time I was 17). I was one of those girls who had been brought up to ” do right” and to believe that ” God will lead me on to my Mr. Right( of course, Christian Right), and so all through college, I never dated or fell in love even. Not even with the “relentless pursuer”. A couple of years later he left my college, to his hometown.
After I finished college and landed in my own state for my medical work, through a newspaper advertisement, my parents were led onto the very same “relentless pursuer’s” house, where they met his people and found them all suitable for me. And in the end, after some ups and downs, I was married to ” my relentless pursuer”.
What made my husband pursue me relentless, from when I was 17 to even now( I am 46 now) ?
I believe he was led by God. And so I believe, you will get your Christian partner and I am praying for you.
God bless and wishing you a very happy and joyful Christmas.
Susie
What an incredible story, Susie! Thank you for the encouragement. I know it will all work out as He planned. Merry Christmas!
Oh yes, the waiting room. I have been there many of times. I am so thankful for God I can lean into, trust, hope and believe He will fulfill all His promises.
Thanks for sharing, Angela. It seems we all go in and out of the waiting room throughout life. But, yes, we can trust and lean into His promises and His timing. Blessings to you in your journey!
Wow! Thank you so much for this post! This is something I have been struggling with for a very long time now. I’ve never been in a serious relationship (unless you count the time when I was 8 and me and a boy I knew exchanged Valentines gifts! Lol) I’m almost 19, (I know I’ve still got plenty of time), but some days I feel like I’ll never find “the one”, or that there is no one who could possibly want to be with me. I have this hole in my heart that should have been filled by the love of my earthly father, but it wasn’t. Now I think I’m trying to fill that void with a different kind of love from a different kind of man. And that is what I’m afraid of the most; giving my love away to someone who I am not supposed to be with, or being in a relationship that isn’t centered around Christ. Since I know this fear that I have, I have been trying so hard to be “content in my singleness”, and making God the most important man in my life. But it’s a lot harder than it sounds, and that’s where I am today. Struggling. Please pray for me! Thank you again for this post it was very encouraging and just what I needed to hear!
I will be praying for you, my friend. Don’t settle; wait on God’s best for you. The best thing to do in the singles waiting room is to focus on becoming the person you would want to be in a mate and he will show up! Blessings in your journey.
I can totally relate with this message….this is my first time without a partner, I always found a way to hold on to someone, even if it was “Mr. Wrong!” singleness is new to me and I am growing every day through these times…what resonated with me the most was “a satisfied heart is the one that is at peace” When I think of true satisfaction, I find a way to go back to Christ as my stronghold so that my heart stays content…. such a blessing….” And Yes those deep pockets of loneliness do slip in and settle for a little while I must say….however, His deeper pockets of love that consistently overflow is enough to climb back out each and every time….Thanks again for this!!! So true!!
Thank you for sharing this. I know it’s not always easy to reveal. If He’s trying to grow you in this area, it sounds like you’re doing a great job! Keep the faith!
I’ve been in two waiting rooms…one for the past 12 year and the other for the past 8. While I was raised Christian. It was 12 years ago that I truly asked Jesus into my heart and life. My husband was raised Jewish and not a believer. That’s my first waiting room…I pray and hope that one day my husband will come to know and love Jesus. It’s been challenging to be the spiritual leader of our family and it saddens me that our children are being raised with unbelieving father. My 2nd waiting room is for my husband to overcome his mental health issues and return to the work force. 8 years ago he had a nervous breakdown and has even unemployed ever since. This has left me be financially responsible for supporting our family. It’s been stressful. I’ve struggled to trust God’s plan. I’ve been angry and resentful at times. But God has always provided. I’m hopeful that we may be moving fromy the employment waiting room within the next year.
Thank you so much for sharing your “waiting room” story, Christy. You are an example of strength and endurance. Acts 16:31 comes to mind with your first waiting room. Keep the faith! I will be praying for you and your family.
Thank you!
Wow…”Blossom where you’re planted. I love this. God knows what is better for us than we know…..even in the waiting times.
Isn’t that reassuring? “..for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matthew 6:8b I love that promise!
Boy can I relate to this one! It ‘s nice to hear you share your REAL FEELINGS about our singleness and our desire to be with that special man that God has chosen for us. I’m still waiting too, my friend! God has the BEST for us!
Yes, sometimes the waiting can be longer than we’d like. So glad to hear you are waiting on the BEST!
So raw and real. Looking forward to future postings.
Thank you! Gotta keep it real.
Lord thank you for allowing me to blossom where I’m planted. Being single is a previledge. I’m in awe of your love for me. Thanks for the reminder Pam.
Amen! Keep blossoming.