When We Struggle to Love OTHERS

What does having a heart for others look like? That was the burden of my heart. Here I unveil what having a heart for others is and how I discovered it.

My one-word struggle with OTHERS was real.

I had high hopes of a year-long love affair with serving OTHERS. Of morphing into some wonderful new soul that just reeked of empathy for OTHERS.

By December I thought I would look more like my friend M whose heart actually melts when someone’s life-temperature creeps up just a centimeter on the hardship thermometer.

I practiced all the same disciplines that worked well in the past. I prayed about my word. It was etched on the top of my daily To-Do list. I even bought a necklace and bracelet with OTHERS engraved on a disk!

All my prior years’ words (here, and here) were challenging, but there was growth. This year, however, I felt like I was trying to crack the mystery of why cheap cars are so expensive.

I longed to learn what having a heart for OTHERS really meant. To understand why my heart didn’t melt as freely as M’s.

But, despite my efforts, despite my prayers, I had no grand revelations and no new halo of compassion adorned my head.

By mid-August, I was convinced OTHERS was a bad choice. As the enemy preyed on my defeated heart with whispers of failure, September slid into my world with a siren and flashing lights.

I rushed across the street to find my friend in tears as paramedics attended to her mother. She was ill – end-stage lung cancer – and my friend was her sole caregiver. Her mom made it through that night, but we both felt the heavy weight of reality creep into our hearts.

I did my best to be with her. To just show up and attempt to soften the sharp edges of her current struggle.

A dinner here, a chat there, a hug and a shoulder were all I could offer.

Then the calendar flipped to October and things got a little closer to home.

My step-father, the one I call Dad, became very ill. There were hospitalizations, one right after the other, for months. Late night visits to the ER and doctor appointments to get to.

There was anxiety and fear of death. Sleepless slumber in hospital chairs and reading the Bible to him as he slept.

And somehow I was there through it all. Caring for the OTHERS – he and my mom.

I must be honest here, these people are my family so maybe that made it easier to serve them, but I promise you it still wasn’t easy. It wasn’t convenient. And it wasn’t even a little bit fun.

God always shows up though. Walking us through the hard parts of life. Revealing His character one nugget at a time. In this season He showed up in Matthew 25:40.

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me”. Matthew 25:40

So you see, my friend, when we are serving OTHERS in need, we are serving God. When we love OTHERS, we are loving God.

Every time we show up for OTHERS, we are having a divine and beautiful encounter with God Almighty!

He designed it that way – to connect with Him through OTHERS.

And don’t miss that Jesus said “whatever”. That means whatever! Any effort you make will be noticed by OTHERS and by God.

With that new mindset, I could serve them with joy. It became easier, more convenient and yes, even fun at times.

Can I encourage you to not put loving and serving OTHERS in a box?

That was my mistake. I had preconceived ideas of what having a heart for OTHERS should look like.

God showed me that while it might look different for all of us, it looks the same to Jesus.

It looks like we are loving Him.

I’m not sure what having a heart for OTHERS looks like to you or what tough circumstances are going on with the least of those around you. But I do know that God sees whatever you are doing with and for OTHERS as they bump into the hard places of life.

It was hard, very hard, to watch my friend, my mom, and the one I call “Dad” struggle. There were scary times and sad moments. In the end, God used it all so I could sprout and grow, all the while pointing to Him as the Gardener.

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion”. Phil 1:6a

 

I gained genuine gratitude for the least of these being placed my life. For the opportunity to show love and respect for my parents. And to simply show up for a friend.

Just recently, God called my friends’ mom and my step-dad home. They breathed their last a little over a week apart from one another. It’s still tough and it’s still sad for those left to carry on without their loved one.

But now I know exactly what to do for the OTHERS left behind.

Ponder and Practice

A Truth: “Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles”. Philippians 4:14

A Song: Kings and Queens by Audio Adrenaline

A Read: Loving People by Dr. John Townsend

A Prayer: Lord, thank you for the gift of OTHERS. For the opportunity to grow in love as we serve the least of these. Let our hearts continue to be more and more like Yours. In Jesus’ name, Amen.