I dipped my toe into unfamiliar waters. The newness was warm and inviting. But after a short period of time, fear slithered in. Afraid to dip deeper, I pulled back. Back to safety. Back to the comfort of familiarity.
I was on the fence. Straddling. One foot holding on to my past; one foot dipping a toe into a new future. A future I didn’t understand and wasn’t sure I could trust.
A future with God at the helm of my life.
Oh, how that thought wreaked havoc with this girl. This independent, single mom, sole decision-maker, who can change out a light fixture like an electrician, girl.
Well, I stayed on the fence for months. Many months. The kind of “months” that turn into years.
Like a scale, I tilted right and left, dipping my toe in and out of each side. Weighing the consequences selecting one side or the other would have on my life.
Good things and good people were on both sides so I thought I could keep this up indefinitely. But ultimately there wasn’t peace.
There was division. I was in a constant state of imbalance and indecisiveness. On the fence, you don’t belong anywhere so you try to please everyone. You don’t have clear direction or purpose so decision-making is arduous.
I was in between. Not fully a Christ follower and not fully not a Christ follower. When you’re in between you’re in constant conflict with yourself!
There is no contentment when your heart is conflicted. At some point, you must choose.
But how I pondered? I had all the knowledge of what this new life was about. I studied it; it sounded great. I made an informed decision. Hey, I even put my toes in! So why was I still on the fence?
I think it was because I only had head-knowledge. And head-knowledge doesn’t hold a candle to heart-knowledge.
Heart-knowledge comes from living it. Truly, I needed to fully experience what God had to offer. I had plenty of experience in my current world; I could navigate those waters with ease. That’s why I trusted it. It was much harder for me to fully trust something I hadn’t experienced. And that’s when fear sets in.
When you focus on the fear, you will turn back toward the past.
Ultimately I trusted the wisdom that we can serve only one master and took a leap of faith.
Choosing a side quieted the conflict. I gained clear direction and purpose. Solid wisdom that equips me to be fully aligned with that purpose, and the experiences God had in store for me.
No longer do I waffle from side to side. No longer do I have to fit in both places and please all people.
I’m on a journey and God is at the helm. He has not let me down.
His wisdom is mine for the asking. His security envelops my soul. And His protection guards my heart. His peace transcends anything this world has to offer. That is sweet relief for this independent girl!
If I had listened to my own wisdom, I would probably still be on that fence. So grateful He waited patiently for me and held my hand as I jumped “all-in” to new living waters.
Ponder
Is fear keeping you on the fence about something? Do you need wisdom and/or strength to take that leap of faith? Please share it with us in the comments below. You are not alone. There are people who are on the same journey. FREEBIE: I am giving away a free book, Living Waters for Those Who Thirst, by random draw. Everyone who leaves a comment will automatically be in the drawing.
Practice
A Truth: “Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.” James 1:8
A Song: Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United (click here to listen)
A Read: Living Waters for Those Who Thirst
A Prayer: Father, thank you … Thank you for waiting for those months that turned into years. Thank you for giving me the assurance that I can fully trust you. Remind me that as take the many leaps of faith your plan for my life has in store for me, that I am safe in your care. Amen.
Here’s where I’m sharing my post.
Wow! (Deep breath) this time of new beginnings in my life, continues to bring on unfamiliar experiences, including blogging. (Another deep breath) I am taking this leap of faith that it is not, earthly, to late to connect to like minded people. This comment is two years being sent. But I do believe whether to late or not, it’s on time for me to read your blog ( is it a blog, or should I be googling “what is blogging, anyway another time) lol yes I am a chatter!!!
(Another deep breath) I have this saying that says God takes care of babies and fools and I am not a baby!!! In July of this year I packed up my belongings and left a very small island and came to the U.K. I choose here because this is where I am allowed to find work. It’s November now and although I am still here, I am on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I woke up desperately trying to decide if I needed to make a move to return back to my island before I was homeless with out money in a very unfamiliar place. My faith continues to waver as this 21 sq mile, 61 yr. old, mother grandmother, divorcee, return to school to receive a Masters in Social Work continues to believe that God has put me on this journey. Oh what a wretch am I.
Help me!!! ( the three exclamation marks is my declaration of the Trinity) I have never felt so ( I will say it) afraid, confused, nervous, anxious and just plan alone. I know this is just for right now but the roller coaster continues. I can, honestly, say, if was not for the Lord on my side, where would I be. The emotional ride can be unbearable and taxing. I want to physically feel someone holding me and saying “God’s got you”. But with a strong relationship with the Holy Spirit, in no time, my spirit is lifted.
Seeing your post/blog, was God directed, as usual. Even if it is a place to express myself. I am lifted as I continue with this post. Thank you Jesus for, once again. Giving me what I need to continue. The crazy thing about this, I started out writing this asking for HELP!!! Knowing that you could not, but God heard my cry, so with each exclamation marks, I became lifted. Wow!!! What a mighty God we serve.
I don’t know what is ahead but I continue to know He holds my future. Thank you for giving me this post to process and begin another day. God bless you and your ibedient spirit. (Deep breath). I trust that this post brings inspiration for others as they seek solace and peace through an uncertain. Journey in their life. When you cry out God listens. Psalms 46!!!
Just wanted to say that I have posted this site on Facebook and believe that someone needs to hear from you. I also posted the song. God bless you, once again, for your obedient spirit.
I’m so glad you were blessed by this post. Yes, God’s timing is always perfect and it sometimes conflicts with our desires. You are a VERY brave woman!!! I’m not sure I could make the move you made. I was transferred for a year across the state. I was completely alone – no children, no friends, no church, no family, not even my dog. But it was exactly what I needed. Alone and very focused time with God read about it here Blessings to you on your journey and while you can’t feel, I’m telling you, God is with you!
Hi Pam,
Your words encouraged me as a new blogger.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Julie
Welcome, Julie! The Christian blogging world is filled with so many lovely people. I’m so glad you will be joining us. I will drop by your blog very soon. Blessings to you.
Hi Pam,
Thanks for your inspiring words of wisdom! I look forward to your posts!
So, so happy to find this and to be convicted and encouraged all at once.
Lisa, I’m so glad this spoke to you. Your words are a blessing to me!
Pam,
I am always so blessed by your words! Fear has always been a major player in my life. It’s a card the enemy loves to play against me. I am happy to say, though, that through the transforming power of Christ, I have come so far! Of course, there is a long way still to go, but I know God has me by the hand and is leading me into new waters all the time!
Thank you so much for being such a valuable part of #MomentsofHope! You are a blessing!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Wow Pam! Have you and my mother been talking? For years before the stoke she would say to me, “You have to stop straddling the fence” I think the Lord had to give me a “nudge” to help me realize which I side I need to live my life on. i guess I thought I would miss certain things if I chose to put my complete faith in Him. I am excited to see what plans He has for me as I trust Him. Heart- knowledge is the best! Thanks for sharing your heart today my friend. Blessings to you as yours as you seek Him!
That’s one heck of a nudge! I thought the same. I really thought I could exist in both worlds but a heart divided is not one that is at peace or one that is fulfilling its God-given purpose. Sometimes we need that nudge, even if it seems like a catastrophic one at first. In the end, He restores us completely! Blessings in your continued journey, my friend.
OH…ouch!!! I have been on the fence more often than I wish to admit, but I am!…admitting! God knows my heart and He knows which side I need to be on. It has the peace and comfort and joy that is from Him. Yes, I can have some of those things on the other side, but when it is not of Him, it is not the same. Thank you for this powerful reminder. Your neighbor at Moments of Hope.
Amen, Linda! I really thought I could not only survive, but thrive, on the fence. It just isn’t so.
Hi,
so what was the ultimate push that got you off the fence? sometime its a “thing” – sometimes it’s an ah-ha moment.
indecision helps me realize my need to rely on God – so in that it is a good thing! thanks for your encouraging words to trust. a daily thing, as you know.
I’m ministered to by the intentionality of your words. Thank you for sharing your journey and then turning it into a lesson for your readers.
Thanks for the kind words, Michele. So glad you stopped by.
“When you focus on the fear, you will turn back toward the past.” Love this! Too often the future looks too scary and the past is what we’re used to…so it’s easier to stay with the past. But, I don’t believe this is where God wants us to stay when He’s trying to lead us forward. Visiting from #FreshMarketFriday. Blessings!
So true, Laura. He has big plans for us! So glad you stopped by from FMF.
Beautiful post. My current “fence” seems a half-height one that keeps popping up where I make excuses about the season of my life being too busy to be ALL IN with Him. I want his good gifts, but feel I’m taking, taking, taking without investing in the relationship. It’s not insurmoutnable, but has enough height that it is a barrier to me experiencing all He has for me in the midst of toddlers at home, a messy house, and busy work schedule. This was a refreshing read to begin my week. Thank you.
I can totally relate! We need to be disciplined about the truth we know from Him. He has such good things in store for us. Thanks so much for stopping by, Kendall!
Visiting from Coffee from your Heart today. Such a relevant topic! Another good resource is John Ortberg’s book, All The Places to Go! I love the framework of your post (Ponder/Practice)!
Thank you for visiting!
Good words and encouragement for us today! Thank you! (Stopping by from Holley’s Place #18)
It is hard to truly trust and let go at times. To fully abandon ourselves to God. I am always trying to surrender more but it is not easy. Deep down, I know that this is the way of true peace and freedom.
I’m right there with you, Suzy. But, if we’re going to let go and trust anyone or anything, the best choice would be the Creator himself!
I love that song Oceans. it is so peaceful and pulling to the Father. good blog post.
One of my favorites, too!
Fear kept me on the fence for far too many years. I looked focused and committed, but inside I knew fear was holding me back. I will forever be thankful that God allowed difficult circumstances to knock me off my fence. In the process, He proved Himself more than trustworthy. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post with us.
Hi Deb! Fear is so crippling. Keeps us stagnant. But it’s all worth it if increased trust in God is the result.
I straddled that fence for a long time too. I have followed Him for many years now, but when He ask me to go deeper or walk in a new place, I find the fence again. But, as you said in your article. We MUST choose. I know that every time I have chosen His way it has led to wonderful new adventures in my life and when I have chosen not to…well didn’t go so well. Thank you for sharing.
His way is always right. This reminds me how He works all things out … even when we’re fence sitting! Thanks for stopping by, Lee.
I loved what you said about how when we focus on fear, we turn toward the past! This is so true. My family and I have been in the throes of decision-making and trying to muster the courage to take the leap of faith God is asking us to take. Your post has been such a blessing to me this morning. I am so happy to have “met” you…found you through the “Faith and Friends” Link-up on Tai’s blog. God is so good to lead us where we need to be! Thank you for being faithful to share what He laid upon your heart!
So glad He orchestrated our “meeting”. His timing is always perfect. I’m sure He will lead you and your family exactly where you need to be. Blessings to you and thanks for stopping by. I really enjoy Faith and Friends!
Thank you for sharing this at #100HappyDays. I have recently found courage in Jesus to take those leaps of faith. His faithfulness never ceases to amaze me.
Thank you, Valerie. I enjoy Cord of 6!
So glad that I stumbled upon this post today. This describes me exactly,as I am sitting on the fence about a major decision that I am struggling with. As uncomfortable as it feels, it has definitely brought me closer to God. I am seeking his advice daily about my decision, to give me clarity, and patience. Thank you for this!
I’m so glad this was helpful, Lori. I waffled back and forth for quite some time on that particular subject. I have a tendency to want to weigh everything out. The problem with that is each choice has pros and cons, and neither choice will ever be perfect. Keep turning it over to God. Ultimately, that will lead you to trusting Him more and then the decision really won’t matter much!
Your words are sweet & honest! I’ve been on the fence in the past for sure. Thankfully it’s never been as long as years, but I can testify to the uncomfortable & unsettling feeling that accompanies fence-sitting. I love your idea of truth, song, read, prayer. 🙂
I found you via Sharing His Beauty and I’m glad I did!
I agree! No matter what we might be on the fence about, it’s unsettling. Thank you for stopping by!
Pam, I love reading your words. Thank you for linking up today on #livefreeThursday. <3
Blessed by your comment today, Suzie. Grateful for the opportunity of #livefreeThursday.
Oh, how I can relate to testing the water, but not diving all the way in. And yet, God faithfully shows me He is worthy of my trust. Thank you for your insightful words. Joining you from Live Free Thursday.
Not an easy place to be, right?? But, as you say, trust is the only way to live free! Thanks for stopping by.
That is quite the leap! Been there myself -and I love the quote about contentment. Fitting and true. This challenges me and encourages me today. Thank you! Blessings!
Thanks for stopping by, Bethany! So glad you were encouraged and challenged. There are so many areas in life where we need to take that leap of faith. Blessings to you in 2016.
Just happened onto your page today as I’m struggling…and have been “on” and “off” the fence way too many times for way too long.. I hate it and want to be “off” the fence and embrace Jesus as my source of strength and trust. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can stay surrendered to Him BY FAITH and allow Him to be the source of everything in my life. I realize this will be a journey and not happen overnight.
I think the first thing to embrace is the knowledge that you are not alone! Many people started out on the fence, myself included. God will wait for you. Without knowing what’s holding you back from jumping off the fence, it’s hard to give you any specific advice. In general, I would say: Keep praying and staying connected to Him. Keep reading. Seek out other Christians that you can hang with. Find a good Bible-teaching church, one where love (not rules) is the prevalent theme and feel you get from the people. I’d love to send you a Bible (free) that is designed for new believers. It answers a lot of questions you might have. Just use the “Subscribe” box on my blog and your email address will be privately shared with me and I will reach out to you for your address. Stay strong my sweet friend.
What a sweet testimony! Oh, I can SO identify with taking a leap of trust. The God Who calls us is the God Who is there to carry us through that leap. Praising the Lord for a heart changed for Him! (And so happy to find you from #Grace and Truth linkup!)
Thank you, Lisa. I enjoy Grace and Truth, and so glad to see you there.
I read the words of another wise blogger this week who reminded me that not making a choice is really a choice as well. Thank you for sharing your journey of faith – and your wise leap!
So true, Michele. Doing nothing is still a decision. Thanks for sharing.
I sat on the fence for many years, too. But, so glad God kept pursuing me and didn’t give up on me.
Yes, thankful He never gives up on us.
This is beautiful and true. Thank you.
Thank you, Charlie! I enjoy mississippimom!
Love this, I can definitely identify with being on the fence!
I think we all can, Alisa. Not the best place to be but great lessons can be learned there. Blessings to you in your journey!
Thank you for sharing your story. There are so many people living like this and this was great encouragement to others to make that leap. Thank you for being a new friend and sharing at Sitting Among Friends. I hope we see you there every Wednesday.
Thank you for the opportunity to share, Jaime! I enjoyed Sitting Among Friends.
All it takes is that first step in blind Faith. God will do the rest.
God bless.
Yes; so wonderful. Blessings to you in your journey!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now! Gods timing is impeccable .
His timing always amazes me! So glad you got something out of this post.
Hello, Compel Friend! Your words are so soothing and lovely. So glad I visited here and I just know I’ll be back! I think every day we take a leap of faith and I always want to fall on the side of the fence God is on! Blessings to you!
Hello Liz! So grateful for everyone at Compel. Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. It’s so good to be on His side!
Hello beautiful fellow Compel member, I love your blog and can’t wait to read more. I have subscribed.
“No longer do I have to fit in both places and please all people.” <–This is from where I've been working from and I love that you have reminded me of that because I very often forget. Be blessed, sweet friend.
Thank you, Carolina! I felt so conflicted on the fence so I can relate. So glad you got something out of this article. I will see you on Compel soon!
Just subscribed to YOUR BLOG!! Congratulations my friend. May the Lord continue working through you & developing your gifts so that you may continue being a blessing to others. I look forward to seeing the ministry God has entrusted you with grow beyond your wildest dreams🙏🏼
Thank you, Terry! I am up for the challenge. So glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you so much for your beautiful witness. I’ve been feeling called to be more bold and transparent about my walk with Jesus. But I always hold back unless I’m comfortable sharing. I think He wants me to step outside my comfort zone!
I know how you feel! This was a huge step for me. Ultimately, I hung on to the truth that everything I’ve experienced in life is for a reason; I learned something. And that “something” wasn’t just for my benefit. God will lead you where He wants you to be.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring testimony. I too can relate being on the fence and trusted God wholeheartedly and took the faith plunge. Thank you
Thank you for your kind words of support! It seems everyone I know has been on the fence at some point. So glad we both trusted!
Being on the fence…. I often dwell in the past and is hard to look to the future. I loved your article for it reminds me that the one that could help me stay focused and trust in my future, is God. I know it is difficult but I trust that God has a plan and whenever I come to the fence he will pull me to his side. Thank you,
What great words of wisdom! I was on the fence way too long at one point. So glad God waited patiently for me.
We’ve all been on the fence about different things in our lives. Thank God for his patience.
Yes, it seems everyone ends up on the fence about something at some time or another. God will wait and help us decide.
Convicting message and a great reminder. Good job mom! Proud of you and I look up to you a lot 🙂
Aw … Sweet words from a sweet heart. You are my blessing from God, my love.
Thank you for sharing your honesty and heart! I too was on the fence for so many years!! You made me feel understood and encouraged me that God’s way is the only way to clarity and peace!! Love this!!!! 🙂
It’s hard when you’re on the fence, isn’t it? So glad you found clarity in your situation.
I love this blog! Wow so true! I am relating to this article in so many ways. I was also on the fence but for 4 decades! Three years ago I let go and gave everything to my Lord and Savior! I too found myself having to make that tough decision! And that meant letting go of a past relationship, becoming a better more loving mom, and keeping my word in everything I would say with integrity and God’s love to back it up….Only goodness has come from choosing!
Thank you for your realness and the substance behind your words. I’m so happy that I get you and reassures me that the hope in this journey will always be towards Christ! What a relief! His patience is immeasurable till our very last breathe! who does that? Our Lord does!
Thank you for this intimate journey and allowing me to see what Christ has done in your life…. May God continue to bless you in your life and thank you for your honesty and your heart 🙂
Thanks for being open and sharing! Fence dwelling ultimately gets very tiresome and zaps our joy. So glad you took that leap of faith.
I drove to a Thanksgiving party this night with a friend in mind who is not of the Christian faith, but attends our small group each week. From time to time we do a calling to accept Christ as savior and afterwards he always calls me aside and tells me that he has to know more….be more educated on God from the intellectual standpoint before he makes decisions.. Sometimes, I don’t know what to say to him…….but your words here are salve to the situation….head knowledge does not hold a candle to heart knowledge, as you said. It is so true; That to experience all that God has for us, it is not a cerebral thing. It is always a matter of the heart. I pray for those, that like you and us all at one point, who stand at the door hearing the knock…..that eventually, their faith of the heart will compel them to open it.
I’m so glad these words moved you and will give you the words to use with others. I’m blessed by this!
I have felt on the fence in the past and it is truly freeing to be on a path with Him. Your words inspire me more to share how freeing it is to let others know my personal journey.
Thank you for being open! It seems I was so stressed when I was on the fence. I definitely found freedom and peace when I finally jumped all-in!
This really encouraged me. May God continue to lead you on your journey.
We are all on a journey. So glad to be an encouragement to you!